I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you traded sex for a burrito?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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