Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
