Im at strip club and am horny
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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