i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
