he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
