Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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