Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
