I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
