Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
