There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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