I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
