I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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