Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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