You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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