Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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