Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
