i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
