Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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