States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
