Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
