On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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