I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
