Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
When are your genitals available?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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