I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
