she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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