she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
