So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
