He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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