if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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