need another drink. this is the easiest way
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
