She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
