Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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