I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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