; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
