I just saw a hot homeless man
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
