Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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