Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
