rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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