ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
