The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
