ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
