I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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