i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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