I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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