Im at strip club and am horny
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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