Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
