In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize