I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
