Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
