even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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