Just fell off a train. Bad.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
how does that bad decision feel?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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