i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
