im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My dick has a subreddit
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
