im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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