tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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