come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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