I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
