i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
