is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
