i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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