Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
